dear greg,
i’m writing to you again because last night you just left without even saying bye. if it hadn’t been for me waking up anxiously to see you leave, i would’ve probably woken up in the middle of the night, wondering when you left. why would you do that if you know that i freak out when i feel someone leaving me in my sleep? we’ve talked about that more than once, you know how fast i wake up when i feel someone leaving. you were already at the door, and i never noticed when you were leaving! remember when we were at your house and you just stood up to go to the restroom and i woke up right away, before you could even stand up? i know you remember that…it’s just something about me, i don’t know what yet, but i know it’s important for you not to just leave me hanging like that. don’t worry about waking me up, cause i’ll wake up either way! well, i’m not mad, it’s just that when that happens to me, it’s kind of hard for me to stop thinking about it. i panic and the shock stays there with me for a while after. i still feel abandoned. i know you had to go, but i hope if that ever happens again, that you at least wake me up and say you’re leaving. anyway, i’m sorry for making a big deal out of that. i’m like a child about being alone. at least when i have someone as special as you around. that isn’t the worst part. the worst part is that i want you here already so i can tell you how i felt and so you could hug me and apologize! haha…yes, apologies are necessary to me. they fix things if the person is sincere about it. well yeah, its cause you’re usually here by this time! and you’re not here! i called you after you left last night but your mom was probably on the phone because you guys didn’t pick up. 
it’s okay. i hope i get to see you today. i just know today is gonna be a bad day for sure. i’m sore from exercising and i’m tired of taking care of my little cousin. it’s not easy! haha…i know i volunteered or was volunteered by my dad (ugh i hate it when he does those things!) but…i should’ve realized that taking care of him would mean not spending time with you. and at the park yesterday i was really wishing i hadn’t accepted to being his babysitter. =/ oh well. that’s what happens to stupid kids like me. i can’t even move. i have to go take a shower now because i think my uncle is supposed to come over so i can help him with some job application he wants to do online. i hate it when people just come by when i’m looking super ugly and un-ready. i hope you don’t come while i’m in the shower because you might leave & think i’m not here…but i hope you don’t leave soon if you do come. i love you jellybean, i need you to help me feel better. have fun ok? bye.
your sweetheart,
brenda
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